Tired Mama

Well, we're approaching the 3 week mark. I'm writing this while pretty tired and should be going to bed. I've been dealing with kids screaming and crying all evening. I'm def done for the day but I wanted to get this written.

So what have we been up to you ask? Well, Brianna had her 2 week check up on Friday and everything was fine with her. We don't go back now until August for her 2 month check up! On that same day, Emma was supposed to have her urodynamics testing but couldn't because she still had a UTI. So today she started her antibiotics and will have the testing done next Tuesday....I hope.

Sunday my cousin stopped in to deliver some size 1 diapers since her little guy is now in size 2 diapers. I can never pass up more diapers!!! Brianna is still in newborn size diapers but will be in size 1's by this weekend. I'm just gonna finish up the package of Luvs we have and then start the size 1's we have. These 2 are 7 weeks apart. They were very close in size at birth too! It'll be fun watching them grow up and see who does what and when.

Monday was our first day alone without daddy. He finally got a new job so we had some stuff to do on Monday. Emma had a dentist appointment. She has no cavities. She was still scared about the dentist cleaning her teeth so we decided to hold off until next visit for that. Hopefully she is fine with it by then. Then we had to make a trip to Wal-mart to exchange some diapers. I'm so thankful for these big carts at Wal-Mart. It was a huge help!

Tuesday was playdate day! We had a lot of fun and this mama got adult conversation time. I don't get a lot of that. We took a few pics during the day.

 Auntie Adrienne with Austin and Brianna. Austin decided Brianna needed lots of trains and cars to play with.

 Emma and her future husband Austin(hey, ya never know. lol)

 Alex and Austin behaving for a moment.

 Kayla and Ella playing blocks out in the living room before retreating back to the bedroom away from little kids.

 We had to get Uncle Brian to do some work and feed Brianna. Austin helped some.

And as always, our group pic of the kids. 1 is missing since she was at daycare on a field trip.

What else have I been up to??? Well, my bestie, Adrienne, talked me into watching The Bachelorette this season. I got hooked the first dang episode. These guys are so much drama. I'm really rooting for Garrett. I'm hoping he wins, but we will see what happens.

Today we watched The Incredibles for the first time. The only one who paid attention was Alex. He really enjoyed it. It was a good movie but I still don't see what all the hype is about.

Tomorrow I plan on watching this. I read the book and couldn't put it down, so I hope the movie lives up to the book. And I hope my kids let me actually watch the movie! Fingers crossed!

I've been on a punk/alternative music kick and this is my go to album. It's one of my faves. I downloaded a couple more albums of theirs and I am looking forward to listening to them over the next few days.

I've had a very clingy little girl this evening which is why it took so long to get to my blogging today. She wanted mommy all to herself. She's crying for me as I type this so I guess it's time to wrap it up. Hopefully more exciting adventures to come our way.

Brianna Lynn Fiasco

My sweet little trouble maker is finally here!!! Well she's been here a week now. She arrived on June 8th, 2018 at 5:07 pm. My doctor asked me at my appointment on June 6th when I wanted to be induced since June 7th was my due date. She gave me the options of June 8th and June 13th. I chose the 8th because I didn't want any bad luck Friday the 13th birthdays for her.....and I was basically done being pregnant.

These pics I took the night before. I was sooooo huge! Let's just say the last few weeks were hell to get comfortable at night to get some rest. Turning from side to side was like a turtle being stuck on his back. I feel for those turtles now. I think this was the biggest I had ever gotten with any of my pregnancies.

On June 8th, I arrived at the hospital around 7:45 am to get the whole process started. Joey dropped me off and waited for my mom to be done with her appointment so he could pick her up and drop her back at our house to watch the kids. The nurse got my IV in around 9ish I think and we started the Pitocin at 9:30. Everyone told me that being induced was no fun because once the contractions start hitting, they will hit hard. The Pitocin took an hour to finally get things going. The contractions weren't really hitting hard like people had said so I'm like great, this is going to take forever. A little after noon, the house doctor broke my water. At this point, still no epidural because I didn't feel like I needed it. Well let me tell ya....not long after they broke my water those contractions started hitting hard. I was in tears. The nurse came in to check on me and I'm like "can I get that epidural now?" Thank God the guy came up quickly to do it. I was hurting bad. I don't know how women did it before with no drugs. I was able to get a tiny nap in after the epidural kicked in. I also noticed it made me a little talkative at first. I think I was just so happy to be out of pain. My doctor arrived at the hospital around 4:30 finally. They checked me and said it was about time to start pushing. So they got everything in the room all set up. I started pushing about 4:45. I felt like it took forever to get her out. They kept saying shes almost here, she;s almost here. Then right at the end I started panic pushing. I heard them softly talking and saying the cord was around her neck. It wasn't tight thankfully, but as a mother hearing that scares the crap out of you. When she finally came out, she wasn't crying. Yet another scary moment for me. I looked at Joey with tears in my eyes because i had all those fears my whole pregnancy. They took her over to get cleaned up and after what seemed like forever, I finally heard her cry. I was so relieved that she was okay.

Brianna Lynn came into this world weighing a whopping 8 lbs 9 oz and 21 in long!!! She was my biggest baby. When they told me her weight I'm like "WHAT????" I was just in complete shock that I was able to push her out. I'm like that explains why I was so miserable carrying her at the end. I was all baby.

I was stuck in the delivery room until like 10 pm. The epidural was taking forever to wear off on my right leg. I was happy when I finally gained feeling back. I did get to have dinner while waiting for my leg to be normal.

It was very yummy!!! Especially when you haven't eaten since early morning.

We stayed in the hospital one night. We had to do a full 24 hours though. She needed a couple of tests done that couldn't be done until the 24 hour mark. So we were discharged at like 7:30 pm.

The kids were in love with their baby sister when they finally saw her. Even after a week later they are still in love with her. I hope they continue loving her a lot.

We like taking lots of pictures....can't ya tell???

So let's go to some real talk about post pregnancy care. These are items you will most likely leave the hospital with. The squirt bottle, also called a peri bottle, is for cleaning off your privates instead of using toilet paper. Your stuff is going to be swollen and this is nicer than the toilet paper. Plus if you get stitches, you won't be tugging or pulling at them with a squirt bottle. The tucks pads could be something you get or don't get. If you do a lot of pushing, you will end up with hemorrhoids. I was very glad for these because they helped a lot!!!! Also had to sit on an ice pack one morning because of the pain. The other thing was something new to me. It's called Epifoam. They used to give you a spray called Dermoplast but the nurse told me they stopped with that because people were spraying themselves in the face somehow. I don't know. People amaze me. The Epifoam is essentially the same though. You shake it up, spray some on your fingers and apply to your nether regions for pain and swelling. It does the job as well!

Now if you plan on bottle feeding like I am, then you'll want a trick to dry up your breast milk quickly so your boobs are not sore as all hell. Cabbage leaves. Yes I am serious. You place a leaf or two or three(Depending on your size) in your bra and it feels really nice and cold. It helps with swelling and pain. I was optimistic at first but I'm a believer now. It does work. Also taking any kind of antihistamines will dry you up. I had to take an allergy pill the one night because mine were in over drive. That did help with some pain and swelling as well.

Also, if you are someone who suffers from depression, there's a good chance you will have postpartum depression. If you feel yourself getting way down, please call your doctor and let them know. It's a very serious thing that could lead to worse things. I've been dealing with some sadness each day. Having 4 kids total to take care of and 2 that are toddlers and fighting like there's no tomorrow have been very rough on me. At least once a day, I lock myself in the bathroom for a few minutes just to sit and cry. I know if it gets too bad though to talk with my doctor. I know things will get better and I need to stay strong for my kids.

I can't wait to see what adventures I have with this little girl added to the mix now. Oh, and one last bragging rights I think I deserve....and because it annoys some people....NO STRETCH MARKS!!!!! This is my 4th child! Goodnight everyone!

Real Life

So I wanted to take a moment to talk about other things going on in my life besides this crazy pregnancy. I will start off with the tough part of things going on. Back in April, Friday the 13th of all days, I lost my older brother Jason. Now I'm one of those people that are superstitious about Friday the 13th. Something bad always happens on that day. I was so excited because I thought I had made it through the day. Around 10:30pm my phone rings. I see it's my mom calling. My first thought is that my sisters husband had passed because he has a lot of health issues going on right now. So I answer the phone and my mom seems relieved that she finally got a hold of someone. She tells me my brother died. I'm completely in shock. My mom tells me she can't get a hold of my other brother and sister, so i tel her I will try my hardest to get a hold of them. I ended up having to call my nephew's wife to tell her what was going on so she could have my nephew call his mom(my sister) to let her know what was going on. I wasn't able to talk with my other brother until the next morning. We were told my brother passed from just a massive heart attack. Jason lived in a group home due to health issues that my mom could no longer keep up with. My mother had Jason cremated and has him at home with her. He luckily had enough money in his account to cover the cost and all. Originally I didn't want to go see him one last time, but I changed my mind. I'm glad I did too. The guys at the funeral parlor did an amazing job with him. He looked peaceful and like he was sleeping. We didn't really have a service so to speak for him. After he was cremated, the group home did a memorial service for him that we attended. We had lunch afterwards. It was all really nice. When I learned that Jason had passed, a lot of guilt crossed through my mind. I hadn't seen him since Kayla was like 3 or 4. She is now 9. You can't always think that someone will always be there for you to visit, so it's best to keep them close and visit as often as you can.

A couple of days after Jason's memorial service at his group home, we got hit with more bad news that I've pretty much kept to myself because I hate people worrying over me. I want to let everyone know we are doing fine still as of right now. Please don't make a big fuss. Joey lost his job. He hasn't worked in a month. He's had interviews. He goes for another on Tuesday. Temp agencies aren't even doing good right now with sending people out. I'm hoping Tuesday he will get the job. It is another temp agency. They said they would send him out by Friday so we shall see. I know a lot of places say that just to get you in. I won't lie, it had been nice having him home while the girls were still in school so he could help me out with that. That was all he really helped with though. I've still kept to my cleaning schedule and cleaning the house and kids by myself. Does it annoy me? Yes. Does it stress me out? Completely!!!! If you're home, you need to help me out. I guess you could say he's gone into a depression. That's not an excuse in my book though. He stays up half the night and sleeps half the day away. I'm beyond sick of it at this point. I've done more than enough yelling and can't do much more without raising my blood pressure and causing harm to Brianna. Like I said though, we're still fine. We'll be okay. Don't fuss over me please.

Now we move onto good stuff. My girls finished their school year the week of May 21st-May 24th. They both got certificates at their ceremonies. Emma will be moving on to full day Pre-K while Kayla will be moving on to the 4th grade!!! They have both grown so much over the school year!

These are their last day pics. Kayla technically skipped her last day. She just didn't wanna go. They had field day on their last day. The day before they cleaned out their desks, so all her stuff was brought home. I didn't mind too much. I was a little mad that I bought her a field day shirt and then she decided not to go. Oh well. What can ya do? Next year Kayla goes back on August 13th!!! I swear it's earlier and earlier every year. I'm not sure when pre-k starts up. Probably late August.

So that's been our lives so far the past few months. I hope things can look up this month. A new baby and hopefully a new job for Joey. And less stress for this mama!!!

39 weeks

I can't believe I am still carrying this little girl around. This is the longest I've gone in a pregnancy. My other 2 girls were 38 weeks and my guy was 36 almost 37 weeks. I think I've made it too comfy in there for her. I feed her good food and give her anything she asks for basically. Spoiled rotten. At this point, I'm super miserable. Sleep at night is a joke. I toss and turn and then when I finally do get to sleep I need to wake up and pee. My back aches horribly every morning. I've tried all the wives tales to try and kick start labor and none of them have worked. It's just so bizarre that she doesn't want to come out. Since 35 weeks, I've been stuck at 3cm dilated and 50% effaced. On days I go to the doctor I seem to be in a bad mood because I know in my heart nothing has changed. I know it's best she stay in as long as possible but if you haven't been pregnant, then you don't get it. The pain and the aches your body goes through. And on top of all the aches and pains, dealing with contractions that don't progress you! Once a week or week and a half I've been in labor and delivery for contractions that last for 2 or 3 hours being 5 minutes apart and then stopping. More frustration to add to it all.

Yesterday I tried my hardest to do something fun with my kids. I'm like lets go to the zoo! Well, we were able to see 3 animals, all at the front of the zoo. I couldn't handle it. I felt completely awful. I made my 9 year old upset. She didn't really talk with me the rest of the day. I wanted so badly to see more of the animals and to try and take a peek at the new exhibit that will be opening up in a couple of weeks. I tried making it up to them by getting them each something from the gift shop. Kayla(oldest) got some Floof. It's like play-doh but less messier. Emma(middle) got a stuffed monkey, and Alex(youngest) got a stuffed elephant. It still didn't help them cheer up much but it helped some.

The past few Saturdays I've gone out with my mom  to Toys R Us since they are closing all the stores. At my store, stuff is marked 40-60% off I believe. So my mom got me some bassinet sheets and a high chair.The highchair was originally $50 but we paid like $30. So that was a good deal. Plus it was the last one left. Had to grab it. This girl is set on everything she needs. Mommy and Daddy are more than prepared for her arrival.

So with Brianna not being here yet, my brain started turning. I have some theories on why she refuses to come out. They are silly so you have been warned. The first theory is we don't have her middle name picked out. With my other 3 we had their names fully picked out months in advance. We just can't seem to decide on one yet. I've given some that I like but you know how men are and say no about everything. Ugh. Pain in my ass. I've suggested Lynn, Erin, and Rey. I'm determined to have a child with some kind of Star Wars name in their name. Yes I'm a Star Wars geek. Could you not tell from my night gown above?  M second theory is I've been using a lot of products with eucalyptus. I'm wondering if the smell is very calming and calming my body down to not go into labor. I have a candle, pillow spray, and lotion. All from Bath and Body. It's a smell I love. I've calmed down with the spray and candle but the lotion is hard to slow down on. I've been trying to use my lavender lotion lately now.

My next OB appointment I will be one day away from 40 weeks! I will have to discuss with my doctor what the next steps will be if I don't go into labor before then. I asked her at my last appointment to strip my membranes but she said with me being 3cm already there wouldn't be much to strip. I've also heard from some people that it honestly didn't help them. So my other 2 options would be induction or c-section. I hate c-section recovery. I want to avoid a c-section if possible. The nurses at the office think if I do get induced it would be the 13th of June. I'm like "Ugh, I really don't want her born on the 13th." But we'll see what my doctor says when I see her next Wednesday.

So that's what has been going on with me. Still pregnant, still cranky. Hopefully my next post I can show of my new baby girl!!!

Nearing the End

Wow, I didn't realize it's been a month and a half since I updated. Well, I am at 36 1/2 weeks now and its been nothing but a roller coaster.

Last week I was at the hospital 3 days in a row. I stayed over night the one day because of contractions not going away. I ended up having to get a steroid shot which is done in 2 doses. It's to help baby's lungs in case she does come early.

Those are the pics I got while having my contractions. Basically since last Wednesday, I've been having on and off contractions that are not progressing me at all. I'm stuck at 3cm dilated and 50% effaced. It's been very frustrating for me. Yes i know it's still a little early for her to come but when you keep having random contractions that are getting annoying, you just want the pregnancy at the ending point. Contractions make you tired as hell!! They are very exhausting. I forgot how exhausting they were until this weekend. and it's still going on at this point. So i'm just tired and done.

So let' rewind a little. These pics are from 31 weeks. I was contracting consistently which is not a good thing at 31 weeks. I was given fluids to try and stop them and that didn't help so the next step was a shot. Don't ask me to remember what it's called. I know it starts w a T though. That helped stop them finally. So then we got to go home.

Today when I saw the doctor, I saw a different one because this week my doctor is out of town. I liked this other doctor I saw. He was very nice. I'm picky as hell when it comes to an OB doctor. I prefer a female doctor because they are female and know not to go all Rambo on your crotch. They don't shove shit up there and feel around like it's their property. Some of the guy OB's I've had have been a little aggressive with checking me and all and I was not a fan. The doctor today though was good. I'm glad he wasn't all handsy and obnoxious. If I do go in labor this week, I would be comfortable with him delivering my baby.

The way things seem to be going though is just frustrating. All these contractions I'm having and no progression. I'm not a big girl to begin with. I started my pregnancy at 117. I'm up to 140 as of today. Carrying this extra weight has been hard on my back. Yes it's my 4th child, but it's something you can't really get used to. I know I'll drop the weight quickly as I've done with every pregnancy. I usually pop the kid out and i'm like 5 or so pounds away from where I started. No, I'm not bragging. I have high metabolism. It's a curse that all my friends hate me for. I know one day it'll catch up to me. But I am just miserable at this point. The weather hasn't been awful. I live in Ohio where the weather is so unpredictable this time of year. This week we are looking at 70s all week. Last week I had heat on one day and AC the next. I am that person to complain the 1st day it's too hot. With having the extra weight, I'm going to do it more. Another reason I'd love to be done is because I really don't have any clothes that fit. Well, bottoms. Shirts I have no issue with. I didn't wanna shop for bigger clothes because whats the point. Also my last 2 pregnancies, I was able to wear my yoga pants the whole time with no issue. I'm not sure what's going on this time.

My hopes with this one were to go at least until my girls were done with school, which will be May 24th. Well for the oldest it is May 24th. My other daughter's last day is May 22nd since she's only preschool. I guess we will see if I do get that wish. Even though I want to be done I know the longer she's in the better. So I will continue to just push day by day to get through this because I know once she's here I'l be like oh my God, go back in. I am fully prepared for her though. Hopefuly next week I can update and ay hey she's here or almost here.

pregnancy and stuff

I haven't talked about how pregnancy is going for me for awhile. This week I'll be coming up on 30 weeks.

I'm ready to just be done with pregnancy. a couple of weekends ago I went through the joys of nesting. I was cleaning so much. I was at the point of crying because I was so tired of cleaning but my body wouldn't let me stop. And to be honest.....the way my house looks today, you wouldn't really be able to tell any nesting was done. The majority of it was done in the bedrooms. As of a day or two ago my cleaning has slowed down because my sides begin to hurt when doing too much. so i try to do one thing a day. so today I'm gonna try to tackle the dishes. its just bowls and sippy cups. I'll let them soak for awhile then i just rinse them off.

Thursday I decided to go out to Medina to a sale called the Big Red Wagon. It s a traveling resale shop. They spend 3 days in a city and then head out. I'm lucky to live by a few of the stops they make. I ended up spending $90 on just clothes for Brianna. The girl needed clothes. The way the pile looks is small but I did get a lot of stuff. I got sizes 0-3 months and size 3-6 months. I need to get a dresser or a plastic dresser for her still to get stuff put away and get a better idea of all she has. heck maybe i'll lay stuff out and figure it all out. She'll be doing a lot of onesies and dresses this summer to keep cool. With humidity it can sometimes reach 100 degrees here in Cleveland, Ohio. Thank God for air conditioning. I've also been getting everything else she needs. We have bottles, pacifiers, diapers, a pack n play with a bassinet on top, bath stuff, and basically everything. The one item I'm missing that I'm trying to find cheap is a rock n play. It was my life saver with Emma and Alex. They loved that thing and it was very travel handy with folding up and taking on the go. I was hoping to snatch one at Toys R Us with the closing going on, but no such luck. Also no luck at Big Red Wagon. I will probably end up ordering one online from Walmart or something. Another thing I need to grab are a few receiving blankets. I will do that at the next Big Red Wagon in a couple of weeks for the Cleveland area.

I'm sure some of you are like "Well why are you not getting this stuff with having a baby shower?" The answer is simple. I'm not having one. I've had 3 kids and every baby shower was a disaster. I'm not putting myself through the bullshit of no one showing. So I'm getting stuff all on my own. I've told people they are free to buy me something if they want. It's their choice though.

So as I said earlier I will be 30 weeks on Thursday. Which for me means I have about 7-8 more weeks left. Hell maybe even 6 weeks. Its a scary thought. My kids like to come on their terms. My girls came at 38 weeks and Alex at just a day under 37 weeks. The time has gone by super fast. It's always a fun and fast pregnancy when you get to be pregnant with someone else. With Alex I was pregnant with my best friend Adrienne. We were like 6 weeks apart. Our boys are a month apart. With this pregnancy, I'm 7 weeks behind my cousin. She will be popping any week now.

The only test I have left will be the Strep B test and that's done at like 35 weeks or 36 weeks. It's supposed to tell you if you will go into labor early. Or that's one of the things it does. It's honestly a very inaccurate test. Not even sure why it's done. I had my sugar test about a month ago. My iron is low and also my B12 is low. So I've been trying to eat more foods with those. Plus I'm on an iron pill I take twice a day. I go to see a Hematologist next week. I was actually supposed to go today but I have a sick little boy and no one to watch him. So hopefully all goes well with that appointment. Hopefully it's just a dr telling me to eat better foods with those things or a pill or a shot. I'll take any of those options.

And if you're one of the lucky people who have experienced RLS(Restless Leg Syndrome) then welcome to my world. It only acts up right before bedtime so I have to watch what I drink at night. Caffeine makes it worse. Basically what happens is your legs just don't wanna sit still. They want to move. Lately even massages don't help. I may have found something that helps, but I'm not gonna be able to use that option in a few weeks because I don't want to knock myself into labor early or anything. Hoping to figure out other remedies.

So That's been pregnancy for now. Hoping to have a post or 2 more before she gets here. I can't wait to meet this little girl. I know her siblings are excited too!